Fun what is it good for (read to the tune of "war! what is it good for?")

by Gretchen Rubin - buy it here

Recently I've been thinking about the concept of Fun and what precisely "having fun" means to me in application in my life. I'm not completely losing it, don't worry, these ponderings have been sparked by the fact that I am reading The Happiness Project and Gretchen Rubin devotes a large portion to exploring the concept of fun and what fun means to her.

Fun. Hmm. What a novel concept! Or is it? Do I have to stop striving to have FUN just because I'm an Official Adult™ with an Official Mortgage and an Official Car Payment every month (not to mention my very Official Husband and Official Child pulling on my leg 23 out of 24 hours a day)? Does Fun have to get put on the back burner just because I have bathrooms to scrub and laundry piled up or because I legitimately enjoy Real Grown Up Things such as discussions about what the government's social responsibility is towards student loan forgiveness (especially when considered in relationship to the unemployment rate) or things like the role that the media plays in defining adolescent girl's sense of self? Do these hallmarks of adulthood prohibit me from prioritizing the implementation of Fun as an actual priority in my life? Previously I would have maybe shrugged my shoulders and said something like, "well, fun isn't really a top priority, is it?"

But that's hogwash I say! (and just to prove how much I've changed already I used the word "hogwash" which is a fun thing to say, especially in declarative statements as I've used it here)

But what IS Fun anyway? What does it even MEAN?

Gretchen Rubin suggests throwing out all of your otherwise preconceived notions of fun and to just figure out what is actually fun to you. I liked that and I found it interesting to consider what is ACTUALLY fun - not just what I feel that I should enjoy.

I remember when I was younger I went through a similar revelation. I had recently gotten out of a serious long term relationship and I found myself asking, "What do I like to do?" For so many years my free time and interests had been all wrapped up in this guy I had been dating that I hadn't really stopped to wonder if I was doing things that I enjoyed. Turns out, I wasn't.

I started exploring who I was without him. What movies did I like? What music? How did I want to spend my time on the weekends or after work and school?

It was an interesting endeavor to walk down that path of discovering who I was as an independent individual. In fact, that journey was what shaped me into the person I am today. For the first time in my life I was willing to be single and free and to determine what all of that meant.

But now that I am a mother, this whole concept of fun takes on a new meaning for me. I'm back in the thick of it again: being all wrapped up in someone else 24/7 to the point that I've forgotten about myself (at least this time the guy I'm all wrapped up in is my beautiful and perfect son and not some douchebag).

But still, the pattern repeating itself is not lost on me and I've received the message loud and clear: I have to make time for ME again because I'm forgetting who I am and what I like. Turns out, when I have a few free minutes, I don't really wanna turn on Sid the Science Kid or start building a giant pyramid with Duplos. Hard to believe, I know.

I just have found that I spend my days so busy and, really, so obsessed with taking care of other people that I don't even stop to think about what might be fun for me. Fun? I snort at the idea and roll my eyes. Who has time for fun?

Well, the truth is - I do. I must. If I don't remember to make time for fun, there will be no point to life and I will end up feeling resentful and depressed and then I'll be cranky and mean and that's just a no-good combo for any of us. Trust me.

So fun. What do I find to be fun?

I started by doing something that I find Fun that most people probably don't (see? I'm a quick learner): I made a list.

I was surprised by how easy the list came to me. It all just poured forward without much thought and I was excited about that and about all of the ways that I could still have fun. I sat there typing my list on my iPhone in the dark with my son sleeping next to me and I even kind of giggled to myself at the end of it. I've still got it. I can still have Fun.

So here it is, my list of things that I think are Fun. It's still evolving and growing and I'm still not 100% sure that I'm going to even do anything with it but for now, it's exciting to me that I'm even thinking about this and that I even am bothering to stop and wonder how I'm going to integrate My Idea of Fun into my life. This is progress, people. This truly is progress.

oh, and disclaimer: please don't judge me on my list. Some of it is hopelessly self-serving or consumer-obsessed. Just let that part go. What are my ideas of fun:


- Photography: both taking and editing photos
- Reading a good book on the couch for hours
- Taking a bath
- Going to the theater and seeing live plays and performances
- Watching stand up comedy
- Going out with girlfriends and gossiping and laughing while drinking wine
- Zumba I think
- Doing art projects: painting, decorating t-shirts, coloring, making posters, drawing, etc.
- Listening to NPR - specifically Fresh Air with Terri Gross and This American Life
- Writing persuasive arguments and essays
- Reading and editing other people's work
- Public speaking about a topic I know about and am well versed in
- New agey kinds of seminars
- Going to therapy
- Reading self help books
- Blogging and interacting with people online
- Funny websites and memes (lol cats, cakewrecks, autocorrect fail, I waste so much time, hey girl etc.)
- Reading and finding out other people's secrets (post secret etc)
- Looking through family photographs; doesn't even have to be my family
- Singing songs with Henry and playing games with him. Running around the park and just laughing together in general
- Staying within my weight watchers points. It's a game
- Board games (but not monopoly really)
- Card games especially spades
- Walks on the beach
- Long philosophical talks
- Listening to Wayne Dyre and a ton of other spiritual/motivational people
- Going shopping and buying new clothes! best ever
- Getting new electronic things: phones, computers, iPads etc. I love the first few days of using them
- Playing video games. Omg the best.
- Talking on the phone with a good friend
- Exchanging emails with someone
- Battle of Wits with my husband
- Picking out cute outfits for Henry
- Cleaning small objects that dont usually get cleaned.
- Putting on makeup
- Driving a car with the sunroof open while wearing sunglasses
- Getting a new purse. Especially if it's fancy or designer
- Markers. Writing in markers. Especially if they're sharpies.
- Giving gifts, planning gifts, making gifts and wrapping gifts
- Writing meaningful cards for people
- Buying small presents for people for no reason
- Planning big parties and events
- Decorating my house
- Baking and cooking - ESPECIALLY vegan baking
- Making slideshows set to music
- Birth photography
- Watching chick-flicks
- Eating chocolate
- Eating cake
- Going out for a fancy dinner


So there it is. My super-duper long list.

Please share yours with me too. What do YOU like to do for Fun? Do you think you can find some time to make Fun an actual real priority in your life? I hope so! I really do. For me, too.

let the sun shine, let the sun shine in

Being a mother is amazing for thousands of reasons. One of them is that it reminds me to stop and ENJOY the moments of life. 

The other day my son spent thirty minutes playing in our curtains. The sun was streaming in, it was early in the morning, and he had the greatest time just laughing and running through the sheer curtains. He spun around, he draped them over his head and giggled as he walked forward and the curtain fell from his face. He ducked behind it and peeked out at me, laughing hysterically when I replied with surprise each time I saw his face. 

And it made me stop and think to myself - "wow, how amazing - to me, those curtains are just there. But to him, they're amazing, they're fun, they're catchers of light." And I just want to live life more like that - more like how he does. I want to look at the things I see every day and take JOY in them, to play in my life and to see how the world looks through the filtered light coming through a sheer curtain in my livingroom. 

There are so many lovely things to learn happening all around us all the time. It's just a matter of opening our eyes and being willing to see.

times they are a changin'

I am in the middle of working on a blog redesign as I mentioned before. 

I'm going through a personal transformation at the moment and I want my blog to reflect that. A lot is going on in my life and I truly believe that I have grown quite a bit in the past year-plus. I've come to a realization and that realization is pretty big and pretty important to me: it's time for me to step fully into my life and into my purpose. 

I've known for many years what my purpose is and that I am meant to have a life of service. What that means for me is that it is my job on this Earth, in my own way, to help other people. I have been in contemplation of what this means in application for a long time even though deep down I've always known the answers. The truth is though, the answer of what my life is meant to BE like scares me, it's hard and it involves risk and requires me to get open and honest and in touch with my true self and honestly, all of that is SCARY and difficult. 

Because of all of this I've spent quite a while ignoring my true purpose, my "calling" in this life. I've tried to come up with alternative ideas, tried to bury my head in the sand and do something else. I've tried to just find contentment in other pursuits. Of course I've never been happy though, I've never truly felt like myself - why would I? I've only partially been embracing who I am meant to be. The truth is, and I know this now: we are who we are and eventually our lives will take the shape they are meant to, no matter how much we resist or pretend to be someone else.  Might as well just be honest and get to it right away. That's what I'd go back and tell my earlier self if I could (well, one thing anyway).

I don't know about you, but it's my fundamental belief that life has purpose. Maybe that's obvious and you just shrugged your shoulders like, "duh". Maybe not though, maybe that phrase is lame to you and you think I sound all gimicky and silly saying something like that. I have no idea and it doesn't even matter. Life has purpose and there is MORE to life than just what we see and what we know as fact. That is something I KNOW to be true.

I know it's trendy to be an atheist and to think things like what I just said are stupid. Go ahead and click the 'x' in the tab above if that's how you feel because it's gonna get a lot more new-agey up in here in the future. I know it's eye-roll-worthy to a lot of people to believe in something more - something deeper to this life. I don't care if that's how you feel, though. I am over it. I have spent a lot of my life trying to hide my beliefs and my feelings because I don't want to be judged or mocked and I'm not going to do that anymore. Because I have always known that there is more. 

I don't proclaim to know what that "more" is. Let's be real - I have no idea. But I believe in the energy of it all and that's enough for me. 

Fundamentally it's important to know that life has meaning. Whether that meaning is derived from an omniscient force or whether that meaning is derived solely from ourselves - life has meaning. We can ignore it, pretend there is no meaning, put our heads down and just get through each day ignoring anything larger than ourselves and our tasks at hand but none of those responses can nullify the meaning of life. Life is big and it is more than just ourselves. No one person is truly an island and that fact alone gives each life value. 

So that said, I believe in the value of each life, and I believe in the value of my life and furthermore I believe in the value of YOUR life. Whether you believe in it or not - it's there.  

I am going to follow my heart and become truer to myself. And I'm going to take this blog along for the journey - wherever it may lead.  

I'm not fully ready just yet to divulge all of my big plans but they're coming and I hope you stick around for them. 

Wordless Wednesday

changes are a-comin'

I'm pretty sure I'm going to overhaul this blog. I was considering just starting from scratch somewhere else but that's silly so I'm going to change this one up. I have a new name coming soon and hopefully more regularly scheduled content. We shall see.

Just a public service announcement lol

----

in other news, my child is a walking, talking, running, laughing, climbing, screaming, shouting, throwing, dancing, singing, splashing, kicking, pointing, clapping, running little boy. He's definitely out of the baby stage and he's well on his way to kid-hood. He's basically awesome.

However all of this growing up that he's been doing has been bitter sweet. I miss a teeny-weeny little baybee to hold and snuggle and shush and rock and pop into the carrier or swing. He is so sweet and wonderful and cute and perfect the way he is but I do miss the teeny tiny littleness of babyville.

It's okay though because this toddler thing kinda rocks. He goes for walks, he holds my hand, he points when he hears an airplane. The other day at the park he made me hold him next to a fence so he could look at a construction truck for THIRTY MINUTES. He's really THAT into things like trucks and cars and tractors and planes. He's so cool. Such a boy. MY boy.

I love him. And he's the best.

That's all for now.