sleep? what's that?

I have pregnancy-induced sleep deprivation. Soon, I've been told, it will be replaced by infant-induced sleep deprivation so I guess i just need to listen to what anyone who has kids has been saying to us ominously and often: "get used to it now!!" (and then they laugh it up like they've just been waiting and waiting to poke a hole into the balloon of parents-to-be who think they might EVER sleep again). From the sound of it, I'm expecting to be indoctrinated into some secret night society of sleepless parents. We'll all play cards and watch old black and white movies together and eat caramel apples and popcorn while we laugh and laugh over the days in the past where we thought sleep was actually a necessity.

or, you know, maybe not.

I've been awake since at least 4:00something. And it wasn't even productive awake, i didn't figure anything out, didn't read a few chapters. hell, i didn't even go on twitter. I just kind of stared into the shadows of my bedroom and watched lights move across the walls when cars drove by. and even that sounds much more poetic than it really was i think.

I tried being productive but it just didn't take. For example, I tried to come up with a name for our baby finally but i just keep cycling through the same ones over and over and over again and never making any real progress. So far there is a front-runner that we're pretty sure we're going to use (we've had it picked out for the past 16 weeks) but who knows for sure if that's really going to win out or not.

Our plan really is to wait until we can see him and then hopefully he'll psychically impart his name onto us and we'll just know. I'll say, "oh THAT's your name! Why didn't you say so earlier?" and then sign the birth certificate with confidence. I wish he could tell me his name now, honestly or that it was socially acceptable for us to just wait until he's like four years old at which point i can approach him, lean over, prop my hands on my knees and say, "Hey there little guy, what's your name?" and he'll just tell us what it's supposed to be. Although i guess if that's how society did this whole thing there'd be a lot of adult men named Batman and Spiderman (who am i to talk, my name would be Rainbow Brite if that was how i played it too...although, that might be kind of awesome actually)



if Ryan had his way, i have the feeling that our kid would be named Batman anyway.

While I was staring into the bedroom in the dark i did do some mental calculations. If the baby comes when we've agreed upon (yes, i made an agreement with the baby about when he should come provided he is at a healthy weight and development level), i really only have like 25 days or so left of my pregnancy. If he comes by his due date, we have 38 days left. If we're induced because he's late we have 45 days left. Basically, either way: holy shit, this is happening soon.

I really can't believe that it's almost here, that the baby is almost going to be living out here...you know, in the real world. Instead of the safe and comfortable (okay comfortable for him...maybe) world inside my belly.

Speaking of which, I know I have been guilty of complaining about discomfort (and sleep issues) recently but i know, i am just positive that within a few weeks after his birth I am going to envy kangaroos and their ability to swoop up their little kanga-kin and put them in a pouch in their bellies. Why don't we get that option? Aren't we supposed to be the superior species or something like that? I think the baby should be re-insertable when i am running late for an appointment or i just wanna keep him extra protected or i'd rather just feed him through my own stomach. Sounds good, no?

okay like i said, I'm sleep deprived.

I should end this and try to go do...you know, something. My cat is circling around me like a shark and, like the movie jaws, i am never sure if i am safe or not. Several times my feet have already fallen victim to little claws and the gnawing of her little teeth. It's been fun and non-stop excitement. Maybe not sleeping anymore will work out just fine. Or maybe if i got some sleep i might not think this is even remotely awesome. Who knows.

Getting there!

tomorrow is 34 Weeks! We're getting there :)

Recently we've had a new addition to our extended family! Ryan's brother and his wife had their baby - a little boy :) We are so excited and this means that our baby has a cousin his same exact age who is a boy too! yay!

here's a picture of me with the new baby. my belly came in handy as a shelf for him to rest on lol:



We're getting closer and closer to our own due date. Six weeks and one day away! It's really real now :) We've got the baby stuff set up, I've washed his clothes already, we're rearranging the furniture in the livingroom to fit his things...we're really making progress and it's exciting.

I am getting bigger too...like a lot bigger lol

i took this photo on Monday:



whoa, right? that's what i think too lol

so i just thought i'd do a little post. Nothing too much to report, we're waiting for the little man to grow and get nice and healthy so he can join us in the world soon!

an ode to baths I suppose

It's official: taking a bath is not what it used to be.

You'd think that something like bathing wouldn't really be one of those things that are taken for granted. Well, at least that's what I think because I have always been an avid bath lover.

I am someone who grew up with a huge soaker jacuzzi tub (that was a mauvey shade of pink and was fantastic). I took baths at least twice a week every week for most of my life. Bubbles, drinks in fancy glasses, bath bombs, bath pillows, music, candles, i had the works.

When I moved out on my own I did my obligatory time on the circuit of Crappy Apartments and Rentals. My first stop on the circuit (aside from college, of course) was a very run down house which i shared with boys so obviously, there was no bath-taking there. I then moved on to the second floor of a duplex apartment with my then boyfriend (now husband) which had the Standard Apartment Style Bath in the only bathroom it had. That bath was okay but it was shallow and admittedly, there was just something a little *off* about it. You know what i mean, the bathtub that LOOKS clean and has been scrubbed but still somehow just feels grimey no matter what. That was this bath. 

After THAT place i lived in a scaled down one bedroom which barely had a bathroom that was large enough to stand in and only possessed a stall shower.

Yup, you read that right: No bath at all.

This was distressing to say the least and how i made it for more than a year without a bathtub is beyond me.

When i got pregnant, my husband and I were living in a really nice, new apartment with a gorgeous bathroom with upgraded features. Upgraded, that is, except for the size of the bathtub. It was that Standard Apartment Style Bath again. Nothing too exciting about it. But it didn't matter, I would still find myself sitting in it at least once a week with my little cat perched on the edge fascinated by the water. I loved it.



Since I've become pregnant, my husband and I have moved yet again, this time we're back at my original location: home with my parents. We're living here for economical reasons (the starry-eyed hope that one day we will be able to afford a house of our own) but in the meantime we have a great deal: we've got our own bedroom, bathroom and second bedroom that we've converted into our livingroom/office. We have our couch and TV all set up, i think we have as much space here as we did in that scaled-down one bedroom i mentioned. Only this time: we have a bath!

Now, admittedly, the bath in our bathroom is an average bathtub. BUT my parents have the holy grail of all baths in their bathroom. Its a gorgeous Jacuzzi style soaker tub like the one of my youth that I have such fond memories of. And while it's not the same exact one (this is a tasteful ecru colored tub) it is still wonderful and fantastic and amazing and all the adjectives that mean perfection in bath form.

There's just one problem: I'm not allowed to use it.

Yup. It's true.

and no it's not because my parents are mean or punishing us for living with them lol.

Like all things I am currently restricted from, it's because I'm pregnant. And part of pregnancy means: "no taking baths that are too hot". This is because the baby can't regulate his own temperature yet and if I were to get into a bath where the water exceeded 100 degrees, bad things could happen for both of us.

and since there is no point whatsoever in my world to taking a cool jacuzzi bath (and since i would be endlessly paranoid that the temperature was too high for my submerged little baby belly) i have abstained from dipping my toe into that gorgeous specimen of a bathtub.

Instead I have stayed to the bathtub that we have been given in our bathroom: the standard sized tub that i've grown to love and appreciate over the years.

I take a cool bath every night now and i read my book while the water pools around the giant volcano-island like mass of my stomach that rises from the water. I take my cool bath and I smile while the baby kicks when the water runs because he likes the sound. I reach my hand over the side and pet my cat who loves to lay curled up on the towels i keep next to it. I read and i refill the water when it gets too cool and i love it. And occasionally i daydream about the day when i can get into that jacuzzi tub again.

but i have a fear, and it's becoming more and more legitimate every day...

I don't know how much longer i can take my nightly baths at all; even these compromise baths in the littler tub.

See, getting in and out of this bath just ain't what it used to be and each night i get worried that I am going to end up like that old lady from the "I've fallen and i can't get up" commercials. I literally have to hoist myself up using the knobs and the side of the tub.

And getting down requires some crafty maneuvering also. My knees don't seem to know where to go while I lower myself. I end up basically just giving the job over to gravity at a certain point and after I land with a splash every night I think to myself, "well, I hope i can get back out of this."

I know my husband will help me if i'm ever stuck but I also know that that will be the end of my nightly baths. And i don't want them to end, i love them.  They're the only baths i have!

Weird how so many things change just because someone takes up residence in your body. Who knew that taking a bath would simultaneously be so great and so difficult?  Who knew that the idea of not being able to take one, even in the littler bath, would be so sad?

I guess a lot of things are bound to change when your stomach is the biggest part of your body and someone is living in it, huh? Duh. Too bad that getting in and out of the bath is one of them. I guess my job now is to soak for as long as possible while I still can because something tells me that even when I am allowed to get back in a nice hot jacuzzi that I won't be able to do it for very long once the baby is here. Just a little notion i have. I haven't heard about newborns being particularly sensitive to their mother's schedules, not even when it comes to luxuries like spending a few hours reclined in a bubbly paradise.

oh well. at least i know that when my time in the jacuzzi bath does come, i will revel the entire process: from being able to sit down with ease, to being able to climb out all on my own. I guess it really is the little things in life, huh?

31 Weeks!

So today is Friday! You know what that means!

It's Weekly Update™ Time!



This week the baby is the size of....



...lol four oranges? okaaaaay.

Apparently this is a measurement of his weight. Which is, interesting? I don't know lol.

ANYWAY this means that the baby is about 16 inches long (wow!) and about 3.5 pounds!



the BIG NEWS this week is that the baby's lungs are now producing something called surfactant. This is important because before this week, the baby's lungs wouldn't have been able to inflate properly (even though he did have air sacs, they wouldn't have worked). but NOW because of this surfactant he will be able to take in breaths and his lungs can expand and contract! YAY! The lungs aren't matured fully yet but this is a huge step in the right direction. That's really his last system that still needs to develop more.

the baby is going to gain about half a pound a week until delivery. whoa.



He is turning his head back and forth in there and now due to space constraints he's in the classic "fetal position" with his arms and legs kinda curled up at his body. Yay!

here's what it looks like right now:

i'm not sure how i feel about this photo lol look at the line just labeled "fat" hahah don't call my baby fat, punk!

As for me, my muscles are expanding and stuff and that's why my back (and legs!) will hurt from now on. I might start getting more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions as well to prepare my body for labor.

We're getting closer and closer to baby time though! We're now in the double digits! 9 weeks until our due date, 6 weeks until i'm full term! (although of course he could be late, but he won't! lol)

here are my weekly photos:






so yay! 31 weeks! not a ton going on this week but it's still exciting! Next week I'll be 8 months pregnant! YAY!