see you in Florida...?

Let's just ignore the fact that it's April Fool's Day. I'm so not into it. 

Let's move on to the fact that it is April and it is snowing. Yes, it really is. This would be bad enough if it was just a regular April 1st that was being plagued with snow. but it's not. and No i'm not referring to the fact that it's Opening Day. This is much more personal.

Why? 

Because I was supposed to be in Florida this weekend with my friends (two of whom have great blogs you should check out: www.youaretheroots.com and www.adventuresinmommyhood.net). 

Yes. Florida. Sunshiney, beautiful, WARM Florida. 

But where am I instead?


Sitting here in my drafty livingroom with icy cold feet having to sip tea to keep warm. 

Why am I not on a plane headed off into the sunny Floridian skies? Several reasons...the biggest of which is affectionately known as Husband Paranoia. 

Husband Paranoia is a real thing, it's probably in the process of becoming an official disease recognized by the AMA.  It's categorized by husbands having their own fear of something and then inflicting those fears onto their wives and family members.


So for example, my wonderful husband is tough and strong and not scared of anything. 


Except flying. 


(and whales)

(Yes, whales. But that's a different subject for a different post...)


But anyway, flying. He's afraid of paranoid about flying. It's mostly because flying is one of the only things in the world that he can't control and therefore it stresses him out. There are very few things that can be done in a flight-going-down situation and, well, that's not a good feeling for him (or for anyone). It's a reasonable fear, I understand it (and if I'm going to be 100% honest, I even share this fear with him; although I am willing to overlook my fear of flying when things like going to Florida come up and flying is the only reasonable way of getting there).


Generally my husband is supportive of anything and everything I want to do. But this time I was surprised to find that when i brought up the idea of me going to Florida for the weekend, he bristled at more than just the cost.


See, all of my friends who are going are bringing their babies (all little boys!) and i wanted to bring Henry, too of course! Not to mention that I really just can't responsibly leave Henry at home. He's basically attached to my boob on a regular basis as it is but he also needs me for comfort and nutrition and general peace of mind. He's still a little baby, afterall, he's not even five months old yet.


But when I mentioned this would be a trip for me and Henry, Ryan was adamantly against it.  He pulled out his veto and used it on this one.

Henry flying just sounds like way too much of a bad idea to Ryan. Not only would Ryan not be there with us but this is Flying. Flying! Flying, which is almost as bad as swimming with whales when it comes to things that freak Ryan out. He just wasn't okay with it, just couldn't wrap his head around it. Planes can crash, they have recirculated air, i'd be traveling alone with our son amongst any number of creepers along the way. Ryan's Daddy Radar went off and it went off loud and strong. 

And while I would truly LOVE to be on my way somewhere warm today, there's a little place in my heart that's warm because Ryan cares so much (corny, maybe, but true). We talked the whole thing out and while Ryan is always fine with the idea of me going off on my own to gallivant the countryside, it's just too early in our son's life for Ryan to be comfortable with him taking off to fly the friendly skies. And i'm okay with that, Ryan gets equal say here in our son's safety of course. 

So for now I'll just have to skype my way into Girl's Weekend and be satisfied with that. But next year I'll be on my way for sure.

the battle has begun

this week i find myself battling yet another illness. and yet again, it is not my own illness that I am fighting. This time, it's Henry's. 

For those of you who don't know, the week that we went to settlement on our house, my husband came down with what I affectionately refer to as The Stomach Plague. Let's just say, it wasn't pretty and it ended him up in the ER for dehydration (followed by a jointly decided upon banishment from mine and Henry's presence...he was reloacted to his parents' house for several days). 

I had just barely put down the hand sanitizer (okay, who am i kidding? i'm still clutching that stuff with white knuckles...i do NOT want to get what Ryan had) when Henry started exhibiting signs of (a different, thank god) sickness himself. 

But let's rewind, shall we? 

So we settled on Friday, moved on Sunday and Henry had his (two week late) four month well baby visit scheduled for Monday. 

I called the pedi's office and asked if we could forego his shots this visit and instead if i could push them back a week or so. It just seemed to me that there was too much going on in a short period of time for one infant to deal with - especially since he had a pretty fierce reaction to his shots at 2 months old. 

They said, "Sure no problem!" and i felt good walking into his visit that monday. 

Until the doctor we were working with said something like, "Well you can push back the shots but....god forbid he gets meningitis in that time. I'm just saying."

oh, really, you're just saying? okay then. that makes it all better. 

she even said, "I won't judge you, no matter what you decide. But you do want to go into this decision with your eyes open."

cause yea, we all know that when people say "i won't judge you" it really usually means, "just letting you know, i'm going to speed-dial CPS after you leave."

So between her and Ryan wanting to be there when he gets them (he was with us), I was overruled and we went ahead and gave him the shots. 

And can i just say, this experience has taught me that i should always listen to my initial intuition about things? Because seriously, those shots at that time were a bad idea. 


Did Henry have a strong reaction? Yup. He needed the baby tylenol for two days after that, he slept all day, needed mommy. 

Not only that though but as of Thursday he clearly didn't feel good. Glassy eyes, sleepy, cranky, unwell. 

By Friday he had his first fever and a definitely stuffy nose. We were right back in that doctor's office, dealing with the same lady and I was thinking to myself,
"i TOLD you so." The poor little guy's system just went through WAY too many things at once. I knew it. 

And we've been fighting this cold of his ever since. 

The fight is being won though, it truly is. I will beat this cold and I won't let any pediatrician push me around next time. 

The battle has truly been epic however...here are just a few stats:

- Times that we have, as of this post, stood in the bathroom with the shower running hot enough to make us a steam room: 3

- Amount of hours spent listening to Henry complain in his sleep because he is uncomfortable: 20+

- Hours spent walking around the house because we have a baby who is too cranky to do anything besides be carried around: 40

- Times Henry has choked on mucous in his throat sending me into a full out panic attack: 3


- Frantic phone calls to my mother and my sister who is a nurse: 3


- Tweets about Henry's health concerning me: 6


- Middle-of-the-night arguments between Ryan and myself because I am panicking and he is tired: 1


- Balloons purchased to try and cheer up a little baby who doesn't feel good: 1


- Amount of kisses and snuggles administered to try and cure this cold: 100+


It hasn't all been bad but i HAVE felt bad for the little guy. He clearly just hasn't felt well and his recovery is slow going. He's had a lot of changes recently and let's be honest, it's been tough for me and Ryan who are seemingly stable adults to adjust to all of this stuff.  I can't imagine what it's like for him.


And with that he's let out a little yell letting me know my time here on blogger is done. Wish us luck, I am winning these battles and i know i can win the war too.

I Want to be More Like Henry

I want to be more like Henry, he's already taught me so much:

Every morning he wakes up and smiles at the new day. He lays in bed and laughs to himself, chuckling at private jokes and little amusements he finds around him.

He explores. Even though he can't walk or even roll over yet, the world fascinates him. He reaches with his hands, turns his head, kicks his feet. He tastes everything.

I want to be more like Henry. I want to foster that curiosity, that absolute glee towards life.

I want to be more like Henry, every day he does something new.

He appreciates his feet, is thrilled when something lightly brushes his tummy and it tickles. He loves music and truly studies the arts.

Henry doesn't miss a detail. He stares at lamps and light fixtures, studies spoons and toys. He is fascinated by the things that most of us take for granted.

When he sees people he loves, without any hesitation whatsoever he greets them with the largest smile that his face can contain. I want to be more like that.

I want to be more like Henry. I want to study and investigate and to notice. I want to smile broadly and make everyone who I love really feel it.

I want to be more like Henry, he's so honest and true.

When something is going wrong, he speaks up about it. He isn't afraid of treading on other peoples' feelings, he isn't embarrassed by anything. When something isn't right, Henry tells us.

And when it's right again, he's joyful again. Hes appreciative. He smiles.

I want to be more like Henry. He's the best person I know.